beretta xx treme

I canapos;t sleep, because she haunts my dreams. I canapos;t just "pass out", without going in some weird, alternate state of reality, where I am in full control of my dreams. So, in essence, Iapos;m awake. Like, for instance, this pseudo-anthony can get up out of his bed if i tell him to, or walk around if he wants. The big thing that happens though, is i hear music. That i can control. And it seems as real as the computer Iapos;m typing on. The music is crystal clear, the highest quality audio iapos;ve ever heard in my life, and is completely controlled by my thoughts. That happens alot to me when i sleep. But this pseudo-anthony has been recently haunted by the ghost of a person from my past. And I canapos;t sleep because it hurts me so much to have to relieve this period of my life. I was an asshole to this person, and basically we were stuck in the friend zone when neither one of us wanted to be there. So, picture this. Youapos;re sleeping, and all of a sudden youapos;re transported back to a moment in the past- say, in your bedroom. And you are talking to her now, and even though this is the past, itapos;s as if you both had the mind set of today (10/13/08). So you both know how it ended. And youapos;re talking about life, and if you hve any regrets, and that "itapos;s okay it ended up like this, that we donapos;t talk anymore". And, this hurts, because this is my dream. But I also control it, to the point where it seems as real as me typing this right now. And it sucks to be forced to talk to someone you donapos;t talk to anymore, who you wish you did, and forced to rehash this event.

So i havenapos;t slept in weeks, which is making me even more crazy.
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